Back Against the Wall
by daytimedrama
Summary: “I love you and I know you felt it.” Starts 3 mths post Right Next Door. Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back. Can they get over the past hurt and move on? Angst/SMUT! Epilogue added 7/21/08 Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **Back ****Against the Wall**  
Author: daytimedrama  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Genre: Angst/Smut  
Rating: M  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: I'm still really mad so my writing reflects that quite a bit. I'm all about Lindsay empowerment right now. This takes place 3 months after Right Next Door. This is my first time writing smut, so thanks kcaitlin for not laughing at it.

"What are you doing Lindsay?"

"What's wrong Messer? I'm just playing pool, hustling these guys."

"You know what I mean."

"No I'm afraid I don't. Excuse me, I must get back, I'm beating them terribly and I've only got one combo to go. Then I've got to collect my winnings," she said with a smirk.

"You shouldn't be acting like this."

"Acting like what?" Her eyes flashed. She was baiting him.

"It's just…..they might have bad intentions towards you. Might be thinking of taking advantage of the situation."

"Maybe that's exactly what I want from them," she sauntered off to finish her game, leaning over the table provocatively.

Flack had seen the whole thing, and came over to Danny, seeing how wound up he was.

"Messer, you got to get a grip. She is a grown woman." And he added quietly, "and she's not yours anymore."

"She just doesn't get it, they might hurt her." His eyes were still fixed on Lindsay who was laughing raucously, her small hand running the length the blonde officer's forearm teasingly.

"This just Evans and Thomas from the precinct, they're good guys, and she seems to know what she is doing." He was thinking quietly to himself, that they couldn't hurt her more than Danny already had. When the taller brunette cop leaned over to whisper in her ear, Danny had to turn away.

It had been three months. Three months since he saw the light drain from her eyes. He was pretty sure she already knew, but hearing the admittance of his guilt was like a dagger into her already fractured heart. She had become really good at pretending. So had he. She settled into a very terse working relationship with him, but never said one extra word to him while in work. So many times in the lab, he wanted to beg her to say something to him. He knew that would just piss her off more, the last thing she would want is word getting back to Mac that they couldn't be professional. So he didn't say anything.

However tonight, tonight when she was wearing a short jeans skirt, and low cut black tank top, well now he was even beating himself up even more over what an idiot he was. Why did he not just go to her for comfort? Now this was his punishment. He waited for her to stop flirting with the officers. He saw her sashay, looking back at the men over her shoulder, to the back of the establishment heading towards the bathroom, and he knew he had to use this opportunity to talk to her.

"Can I please talk to you outside, Lindsay?" He had grabbed her wrist and she quickly twisted out of his grasp.

She just glared at him.

"Please. I have something important to say to you."

She looked skeptical but nevertheless walked past him through the back door to a dark alleyway. The dim lighting illuminated the center, but left the corners clouded, dangerous.

"Hmm I've heard that before, 'we should talk'. What could you possibly say to me? You don't think I should do this. You don't want me going home with another guy… or guys." She waited for the flicker of jealousy to cross his face.

"This isn't you."

"Maybe this is exactly who I am."

"No. Lindsay. I know you."

"No. You knew me. You knew the stupid naïve girl that thought you were something special. I'm not that girl anymore. That girl never wins. She only gets hurt."

"Damn it Lindsay! Listen to me; I want to be with you." He palm collided with the brick wall next to her head.

"Well I don't give a damn." She turned her head to gaze into his eyes, her eyes flashing in anger. "It's pretty convenient that you want me now that I've moved on."

He was close enough to smell her, a curl had fallen across her face and he ached to brush it out of the way.

"What's wrong Messer? Don't like the idea of another guy with his thick cock in me. Pounding away, getting me to moan, making me scream."

A deep growl erupted before he could contain it.

"What is it? Now do you miss the feeling of our sweaty skin together, our ragged breathing right after you've come?"

She knew she had him right where she wanted him. She leans up to his ear, her hot breath tickling; he hadn't been this close to her in a long time, and of course his body was reacting.

"Do you miss me screaming _your _name as my pussy clenches around _your _big cock?" she shifted her leg, purposefully brushing his hardened length. She had every intention of ducking out of his hold and leaving him there in the dark alley aroused and angry. However she wasn't prepared for the slow reaction of her traitorous body when in his proximity. She was shocked when his lips captured hers bruisingly. Her surprised squeak turned into a lustful moan. She couldn't deny she had missed him. She missed the feeling of his tongue on hers. Her hands retraced the familiar path to through his short hair. He deepened their kiss, his hands tracing down her body, he pulled her into him roughly. She could feel how aroused he was and her body ached to feel him inside her again. His hand was desperate for purchase on her ass. He started to kiss down her neck, his tongue tracing over her collarbone. He could feel her clutching onto his bicep, her leg began to wind around his the outside of his and she arched against him in a rhythm that almost made him drop to his knees. He answered by kissing lower on her chest, barely having to move the black tank top and bra to capture her nipple.

One of her hands reached above her head trying to grasp onto the cool brick with her finger tips, her other arm clasped his neck holding him to her. His hand grazed and trailed down her stomach and disappeared under the hem of her short skirt. Pushing aside the thin barrier of laced he sought out her warm slick folds. She was whimpering by time he removed his mouth from her breast, bemoaning the loss.

He was so turned on by the sight of her flushed body heaving against the wall. He didn't allow her any warning before he kneeled down, pulled off her small black thong, and replaced his finger with his tongue. She was right he did want to hear her screaming his name. He grabbed her leg placing it over his shoulder and captured her throbbing clit between his lips, his tongue flicking, feeling her come in his mouth and he was rewarded with his name leaving her lips.

He didn't have any time to revel in his homecoming, before she was dragging him up, kissing him passionately, tasting herself on his tongue. She whispered into his ear in a husky voice, "Fuck me Danny" while seeking out his zipper. She had pulled out his hard cock when he kissed her again. He reached under her skirt, his rough hands pushing it around her waist. He lifted her up, her small legs wrapped around him while he positioned his cock at her entrance. He wanted to look into her eyes as he plunged into her; he wanted to let her to know that this meant something to him, that she was the only one he ever wanted. However the feeling of being encased by her hot passage made him close his eyes and bit his lip to avoid coming right then. They both groaned at the sensation of filling and being so perfectly filled.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck and took several breaths to regain his control. He drew out of her slowly only to thrust back in, first slowly and then again faster and harder, He was encouraged by her shouts. Each stroke filled her with waves of pleasure as he plunged so deeply. He thought he was going to burst into fire from his inflamed skin, despite the temperate spring night. He pounded into faster, knowing he would not be able to hold out much longer. He could feel her short nails on his back even through his T-shirt. He reached to where they were joined, rubbing small circles on her clit until she came screaming. Moaning, he came into her. "I love you Lindsay," he said sincerely.

His legs couldn't support him any longer, he turned around still holding her against him and he slid down the wall. The dark shadows in the alley obscured her face, but he was calmed by her fingers methodically combing through his hair. They didn't say anything for awhile, the dull pounding of the music through the wall slowly bringing him back to reality. He could feel her heartbeat begin to steady against his chest, and she kissed him sweetly on the neck. He watched her stand up, smooth her hair and before she tugged her short denim skirt down. She looked at him, pants and boxers still around his knees, sitting heavily against the brick wall. He couldn't read the emotion that flickered across her face. She walked into the pool hall, without looking back at him. The sound of the heavy door closing, echoed in his head.

After he zipped his pants back up, he reached down, pocketing her lacey black thong, fingers lingering over the softness and he followed her out of the alley.

His eyes searched around for her, and his face must have betrayed some urgency, because Flack walked over to him. "Where were you?"

"Did you see Lindsay come back in here?" Danny asked voice straining over the music.

"Yeah. She just left."

"Alone?"

"No."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks kcaitlin for the beta and smut ideas. I'm still working out my angst, in a smutty fashion. Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Lindsay. I tried calling you all weekend. You didn't answer."

"Oh sorry I was busy. Had to go to the bank and the dry cleaners, take my car to the shop…oh wait I don't have a car." She looked up from the evidence giving him a small smirk.

"Lindsay, I really want to talk about what happened."

"You aren't still mad about the other night, are you? Oh. Boy. This is a little awkward," she said in a fake pained voice. Yes it was terribly awkward for him. She looked like she was searching for the words; she had hoped that it just wouldn't be brought up right now, didn't really need him screaming in the lab about how she fucked him in the alley.

She spoke in a lowered voice, "I thought you liked it. I've never gotten any complaints before," she didn't know what made her add, "or since."

She almost cringed at the sight of his face falling. She had a problem, she felt compelled to hurt him. To hurt him as much as she could. It was like those words came from her dark alter ego, the femme fatale committed to making her a strong woman. She vaguely thought about how she might look just dressed in stilettos and a trench coat. She was possessed by the power she now had. She wanted to persist. Get him to his knees. To be honest she was quite proud of herself for the other night. Sure it was crass, but it was what he deserved. Did he really think one fuck in an alley would have her falling all over him again? He was good, but he wasn't _that_ good. Did he really think that hearing words of love come out of his mouth and she'd suddenly have amnesia? He could fuck the image of him with another woman out of her?

"Damnit Lindsay. Stop it." He slammed his hands down on the desk. And she had to bit her cheek to keep from smiling. The lab techs in the room were startled and turned towards him abruptly. They were only too aware of how volatile he had been these past three months.

"I have work to do, Messer. I really can't talk about whatever issue you're going through right now," she said turning her attention back to the evidence in front of her. He ran his palm down his face, so incredibly frustrated with her nonchalance, and her incredible smell that he was haunted by since their recent tryst. His body was screaming for him to clear off the table and take her right here. Bend her over the mass spectrometer and fuck her until Mac came out of his office.

"I'll find you after your shift," he wasn't giving her the opportunity to make up excuses to blow him off.

She managed to avoid Danny for the rest of her shift. She really wasn't looking forward to a confrontation with him right now, especially since it was 2am. She knew when she left him in the alley he probably wouldn't just let it go. He wouldn't just let it be some angry break up sex and leave her alone. She wanted to avoid the lobby where Danny was sure to be waiting for her. Even this late, the bastard was persistent. She used the service elevator, and got off on the second floor, using the stairwell to escape into the parking garage. She was quite pleased at her accomplishment of avoiding Danny when she saw him leaning up against his black SUV. She had to stifle a groan; she shouldn't have underestimated his ability at predicting her. Sure he had betrayed her but that didn't mean he forgot all those things that they had spent the last years learning about each other. The way to make each other's coffee, how she liked her T-shirts folded, how she was sure to avoid an uncomfortable conversation about their recent encounter.

"Hello, Lindsay," his tone betrayed how frustrated he was.

"Danny," she greeted tersely.

"I know you're avoiding me, but we need to talk, and I thought you might want these back." He pulled her black thong out of his pocket, holding the small black lace in front of him. She lashed out to grab them, but he snapped his hand away at the last second.

"Ah, ah, ah. You can have them back once we've talked." He put them back into his front pocket, and smiled smugly at her. She however took the two large steps towards him and snaked her small hand into his pocket, letting her hand linger and brush his hardening length. His eyes flashed with anger and lust. He definitely had not expected her to make such a bold move here.

While pulling her hand out of his pocket holding her underwear she leaned against him seductively. She was pressed into his firm arousal, her breasts tight against his hard chest. She looped her fingers through his belt loops; bring him more firmly against her. She stood up on her tip toes and whispered huskily into his ear, "You shouldn't take things that aren't yours." Her wet pink tongue moistened her lips as she stared into his eyes. She allowed her body to descend down his; he could feel her hard nipples through thin lace, and both of their shirts.

Her fingers left the safety of his belt loops and they snuck under the waistband of his jeans. Her soft fingertips enflamed his skin. He was trying really hard, to think of dead bodies, old ladies, his grocery shopping list, anything that would allow him to resist this temptress. He had already been left alone once with his pants around his ankles, he didn't think he would survive what else she had in store for him. He really needed to talk to her seriously. Their encounter in the alley, and her hasty retreat left him reeling. He could hardly sleep from the memory of his dick encased in her. He wanted to gouge his eyes out at the thought of her potentially being with another man. He had no proof, had heard no rumors, and he knew certainly if he ever wanted the chance to fuck her again he sure as hell wouldn't ask her. He didn't want to just fuck Lindsay, he wanted to hold her at night, feel her soft curves snuggle deeper against him. He wanted to make her breakfast, hold her hand during a movie, marry her, and have children with her. Although he wasn't going to turn down any chance to be this close to her, he knew he was no closer to forgiveness or real intimacy. He had screwed up so royally that he couldn't even get her to talk to him and his deep breathing techniques failed in controlling his arousal.

"Lindsay," he groaned as he closed his eyes, and leaned his head back onto his car.

"I have an idea. Why don't you talk, and I'll find a way to keep myself busy." She let her hand rub his bulge provocatively. She began to unzip his jeans, as they dropped to the ground she followed. He had to lean against his car because his legs would no longer hold his weight. He knew he should pull her up, make her talk to him but his body was responding to her attentions. She was using sex to distract him from apologizing again. He should have probably taken the hint that she didn't want to hear his excuses and probably would never give him the absolution he so desperately desired.

"What are you doing Lindsay?"

"I thought that would be obvious," it was obvious. She pulled down his boxers and admired his large cock.

"You don't have to do this. We shouldn't be doing this. We need to talk," his words were breathless and without conviction. He was watching her rub his length but had to close his eyes tightly when he felt her lick him from base to tip.

"What your other girlfriend didn't do this for you, all those times you spent fucking the pain away? That's a real shame." He thought he should probably shut the hell up. He was a bit vulnerable in the position she now had him in. She leaned forward, her pink tongue licking the head; she took the head in her mouth, sliding her lips slowly over it, tasting the drop of cum on the tip. Even her warm mouth on his cock could take away the sting of her venomous words.

"Fuck, Linds…"

She felt empowered by his arousal and took in as much as she could.

Danny was breathing heavily now, his fingers rhythmically clutching onto her soft hair. She wrapped a small hand around the base and pumped in time to her bobbing head. When Danny began to beg her not to stop she increased the speed of her tongue around the tip, swirling faster. Her hand pumped him faster and she hummed around his cock. She could read him well, and his incoherent swearing signaled the closeness of his release. He tensed and bucked into her mouth. She closed her soft lips around his cock, and swallowed his warm cum. He was clutching onto her, struggling to catch his breath, panting heavily as he confessed, "God Lindsay, I've missed you so much. I love you so much."

She stood up, this time pulling his jeans and boxers up his legs. Tucking him back in, and slowly dragging the zipper up. He was still leaning heavily against his car, his hands still stroking her soft hair. The surrounding parking lot of his workplace slightly panicking his sex addled brain.

"I should go. I really don't have anything to say to you," she wasn't unhappy or angry. Hearing his words of love for the second time left her off kilter. How many times had she hoped to hear those words from him? For two days after her impromptu confession of her love she sat in her apartment and at work, dreaming of different scenarios where he'd call her, find her, and confess that he felt the same way. It was on the third day when he confessed to something far different, something that broke her heart. She swore that she'd never fall for him again, and she wasn't, but she couldn't deny how nice those words did sound coming from his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for reading and to all those who have reviewed or have put this story on their favorites or alerts. Well I couldn't stay so so angsty for so long, so their relationship is changing. If you have any suggestions or comments on where this should go please let me know. If you don't like Lindsay's emotional confession, well you can blame kcaitlin for that, you can also blame her for the lack of typos. ;)

* * *

The rain was pouring steadily now. It soaked through his sweatshirt. Yet he continued running, he was trying to clear his mind; however the run only allowed him more time to think. He thought about his stupidity. He thought about his guilt, once so focused on the boy down the hall, now wholly consumed by the look of heart break he caused on Lindsay's face. He thought of Lindsay ignoring him in the lab. How jealous he was watching those guys stare at her ass as she bent over the pool table. He thought of how wonderful she felt around him as he fucked her into the wall in the alley. He thought of her small hand and mouth incasing him in the parking structure.

She still hadn't talked to him. She has managed to avoid him for a week. Apparently homicides in the city increased when he needed to speak to her. After running for an hour he stopped in front of his apartment, doubled over trying to catch his breath, his muscles screaming. The rain water mixed with his sweat and he ran his palm over his face to push away the weeks and months worth of stress. When he stood up to go into his building, he saw her standing there soaking wet clothing clinging to her small frame. Her wet hair was sticking to her face, her makeup was smeared and washing down her cheeks. She looked like she might have been crying, but he couldn't tell.

"Lindsay."

"You moved."

"Oh yeah a few months ago," he said dismissively. He was more concerned about her, "You're soaked. Do you want to come on inside?"

"Yeah, thanks," she was oddly quiet, obviously something on her mind.

He led her through the dark lobby and up the three flights of stairs. She couldn't help but notice the differences to his old building. She wanted to ask him why he moved but she didn't want to hear the answer. He took out his keys and opened his door. He let her walk into his apartment. When he turned on the lights she looked around. It was a small studio. The kitchen in one corner, his bed near the window and a small makeshift sitting area on the left.

"Yeah it's not much, but it's closer to work." He moved out of his old rent controlled apartment immediately. Couldn't stay there, haunted by ghosts, guilt and infidelity. It made him ill. "Um you are going to get sick in those wet clothes," he said meekly. She looked up at him, as if that was the last thing on her mind. "um I can give you a shirt while your clothes dry. You can take a shower if you want." He went to his closest and pulled out a T-shirt, a t-shirt she had actually worn many times before. He always thought she looked so sexy in the 1978 Yankees World Series shirt. He placed the shirt and a fresh towel on the bathroom counter. She walked past him closing the door behind her. He heard the shower turn on and he had to try not to picture what she looked like under the water. He realized he was very uncomfortable in his own wet, and now tightening track pants. He quickly changed his own clothes, and went into the kitchen. He opened his cupboard, thought about taking a swig of whiskey to calm his nerves, but instead reached for a bottle of water in the refrigerator.

…

"I don't want to talk about us," was the first thing she said as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Oh," he was crestfallen.

"Not when I'm only wearing your shirt," he relaxed when he saw the corner of her mouth threaten to quirk into a smile.

He was quiet. He didn't think he had the right to say anything to her. To ask her why she had been acting the way she had. As much as he loved being with her, a quickie in an alley wasn't her, a blow job in the parking lot of their work definitely wasn't her. Or at least it wasn't her before he ripped her heart out. She looked so small right now. He had seen her before dressed just in his T shirt, the hem grazing just the tops of her thighs. She walked over to his couch and sat down. He could close his eyes and open them, just to exist in his fantasy. His fantasy of them before he screwed up. When she would naturally be in his apartment dressed just in his shirt. After waking up after a glorious night of making love, walking into his kitchen only to give him a coy smile, practically an engraved invitation to throw her over his shoulder and take her back to the bedroom. Here they were, in his strange new small studio apartment. Right now the elephant in the room wasn't his infidelity, rather his queen bed in the corner. Patiently waiting for them to reconnect. The air between them was practically crackling with electricity. Their recent encounters only heightened their chemistry. How could two people who were meant to be together be so far apart right now?

"Can I get you something to drink? Water? Juice?" he asked. She just shook her head in refusal.

He sat down the couch next to her. He would just wait until she revealed to him the reason for her presence. When she shifted to sit Indian style, He had to close his eyes. The shirt, riding even higher up her thighs, revealing white lace panties. He cursed is body, of all the times to react and harden, this was not the time. He willed himself not to reveal his lecherous reaction to her appearance.

He hesitantly reached out to her, when she didn't flinch away from him he allowed his fingertips to brush the wet tendril out of her face. His fingers grazed her cheek lovingly. Her eyes never left his, and when he reluctantly took his fingers off her face, he could see her eyes glisten with tears. She reached across to him, across what seemed like a great divide separating them on the couch. She reached through this barrier, and she let her thumb linger on his lower lip. Her fingers grazed across his stubble as she cupped his jaw.

"I need to you to make love to me." She leaned into him, letting her lips brush his softly. He allowed her tongue entrance into his mouth. He felt a slow burn overwhelm his senses while at the same time feel an overwhelming calm. Her hand left his jaw and she fisted his shirt, gently telling, gently pulling him on top of her. She slowly fell into the soft brown leather cushion of the couch. His weight covering her small frame. They slowly explored and reacquainted themselves with each others' taste. He could feel her breast pressed tight against his chest. Her hand abandoned its grip on his shirt, and trailed down to sneak under his shirt. His breath caught when he felt her nails scrap across his abs. She was pushing his shirt up and out of it, her fingertips scorching his skin and igniting longing with every touch.

He tore his lips away from hers to pull his shirt off. Every move was slow and deliberate. He was hard against her stomach, his hands creepy under the short she wore. He slowly worked the shirt upwards, revealing her bare breasts. He leaned down taking one hardening nipple into his mouth. She reached her hands above her head so he could pull off the shirt. When he did she replaced her hands around his neck, and coiled her legs around his hips.

He knew her tells, could read her perfectly, he lifted her up with his hands covering her ass, his hands and her skin separated only by thin white lace panties. She kissed him as he walked her over to the bed. She felt like she was clinging onto him for dear life. Desperate to stay with him, stay touching him. He laid her down on his bed, and had to take a moment to compose himself. She was so gorgeous, so unbelievably fucking sexy, and he never thought he'd get to see her laid out on his bed again. Her eyes were glazed over with lust and he couldn't stand it anymore. He slowly moved her panties down her legs, revealing her glistening pussy. He tossed the white lace behind him, replaced his hands on her angled hip bones and leaned down to trace his tongue over her slit. He was rewarded with a moan. He could smell her arousal, taste it in his mouth, and it made him even harder. He teased her pussy with his tongue, and took her clit into his mouth flicking her clit until she came. When he looked up at her she had a satisfied smile warming her face.

He relished the taste, and his erection pressed painfully against his cotton pants. She wasted no time in encouraging his pants down. He kissed her while positioning his throbbing cock against her entrance, and gently sliding himself inside. She sighed in pleasure, and he grunted. She was so unbelievably tight; the feeling even better than the last time he had fucked her hard and fast against the alley wall. He had to fight the urge take her fast now - for now he just wanted to slowly and tenderly make love to her, if this was the last time he'd be inside her warm pulsing heat, then he wanted it to last as long as possible. He carefully, determinedly, ground his hips against hers, sliding his cock inside her completely and then pulling out slowly, while she moaned in his arms. The feel of her hot wetness clamping his cock so tightly caused his orgasm to build up too fast, before he could control it he exploded inside her. Her muscles tightened, and she climaxed again soon after. He kissed her mouth, his tongue exploring hers. He held their sweaty bodies close. He never wanted to let go. He reluctantly pulled his softening cock out of her, shifted himself next to her, but kept his arms tight around her, still seeking out her lips, aching to stay intimately connected to her. She ran her hands through his hair, returned his kisses sweetly, and did not pull away, her soft smooth body tight against him.

...

He didn't want to break the spell they were under, but he had to ask. Had to know what changed.

"Why did you come to me Lindsay?'

"The diner. That day in the diner, that was today."

He should have known. He should have remembered her suffering, her guilt, her grief. He held her tighter to him.

"I do know what it's like to need comfort. I know what it's like to lose the people you love and you'd do anything just to feel something. To make the hurt go away, to make the guilt go away. I just wish you had come to me."

"I do too," he would always regret ruining what they had by not going to her.

"I did a lot of things I'm not very proud of," she confessed.

"So have I. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for hurting you."

"I'm not sure I can forgive you enough to trust you again."

He always knew it was a possibility, but it hurt so much hearing her say that out loud.

"I know what it's like to lose a part of you. Someone who is a part of you. Only mine never made it past an hour. I had a child, Danny. A son."

He shifted to look at her. This confession startling him.

She wasn't looking at him; she had to tell him before she locked it inside again. "I was 18. I didn't know who the father was. I was running with a bad crowd after that day in the diner. I wanted friends who didn't remind me of them. I drank, I did drugs, and I snuck out of strangers' apartments in the early morning. Then I found out I was pregnant. Although the circumstances weren't ideal, I was happy. That somehow it proved I had life still in me. If I could sustain another life, I was still alive. I moved home, started going to school again. My mom went with me to every doctor's appointment. The labor was long but okay. I held him, he was so beautiful. But by the time I woke up again he was already gone. They told me he became cyanotic and died. He had a congenital heart defect." She had curled into his side and was sobbing; he could feel her wet tears on his torso. He just stroked her back. He didn't know what he could say to her. Finally her tears subsided. She kissed him before standing up and walking into the bathroom. He closed his eyes, praying for her to come back into the room, back into his bed, his life. When she walked out of the bathroom she was dressed in her dry clothes.

"Don't leave. Please don't leave me again Lindsay," he wasn't above begging her to stay.

"I'm sorry Danny. This was amazing. You were amazing."

"It's still there. Between us. It's still there, I know you felt it. I love you, and I know you felt it."

She walked towards the door, pausing with her hand on the door knob; she looked back at him and said quietly, "I felt it."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Back Against the Wall (Chapter 4)  
Author: daytimedrama  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Genre: Angst/Smut  
Rating: M  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: Thanks so much everyone who is reading, FYI this is quite smutty! I was blushing writing it. Thanks kcaitlin for the beta and handholding.

* * *

She hadn't spoken to him all week if it didn't have to do with a case. He tried to catch her eye, he tried finding her after shift, but she had gotten very good at avoiding him. Ever since her emotional revelation she had taken two large steps away from him, and then erected a giant brick wall. He understood; he saw too much, saw her hurt, her pain, pain that he caused, and pain he didn't. She didn't want him to see her except as strong, capable and perfectly fine without him. Truth was, he wasn't okay without her. He wanted to be able to just walk away from her. Let her live in peace, but he was selfish and knew he couldn't live without her. He would take her in any capacity he could. He willed the water to wash away his troubles, but instead the steam swirled and churned his thoughts into a haze of lust and love, regret and guilt.

He walked out of the bathroom, wrapped loosely around his hips; the drops of water still clung to his skin. He walked into his living room hoping to be able to catch the last few minutes of Conan, since he knew with all these thoughts racing around his head there would be no hope of falling to sleep quickly. He almost jumped out of his skin before he stopped dead in his tracks. He had to lean against his wall to help control his breathing. She was definitely the last person he expected to see sitting on his couch, but she had been surprising him recently.

"Jesus Christ, Montana, you scared the shit out of me!" He was all of a sudden aware of how close to naked he was, and wrapped the towel tighter around his waist, "How did you get in here?"

"Your super let me in. Told him I was going to surprise you. Surprise," she deadpanned.

He didn't know what to say. He was still reeling from the shock of her presence, and a little disturbed by his Super's lack of decorum. He walked into his kitchen, contemplating her presence thinking about a stiff drink. She was silent for a while, the whole time he stood there, feeling the water from his hair pool at the ends before dropping down his bare chest. Lindsay was watching him closely and couldn't her sharp intake of breath. But then he watched her eyes change from lustful to menacing.

"I'm angry. I'm so angry at you," she said. He started to talk and she stopped him with a gesture of her hand. "No. It's my turn to talk. I'm so angry at you for ruining what we had, what I _thought_ we had. You are my best friend. I've never trusted anyone like I trusted you, never loved anyone like I love you. I'm so angry at myself for falling in love with you. I'm angry that you said you loved me too. I'm angry that I ever trusted you. I'm angry that I can't seem to let you go. I'm angry that you won't let me go." She looked at him pleadingly, willing for him to have answer to her pain.

"I don't know what to do Lindsay. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you. I would do anything for you to trust me again."

"I can never trust you again" his heart dropped at the words that seemed to seal his fate. "I don't think I can trust anyone again." She said it with both hurt and conviction. Her voice was hard now. She walked over to him where he still stood against the wall. She reached her small soft hand and caressed his jaw, her thumb rubbed against his stubble, and her fingernails scarped against his jaw. To be honest he was a bit scared of her right now, she looked like a predator stalking her prey. The other part of him was fucking aroused. She was intoxicated by the feeling on having him on edge; her eyes were dark with anger and lust.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I betrayed you," he pleaded for her to believe him

It was fast and he was distracted from the feel of her soft fingertips across his stubble, that he almost missed her left hand flying at him with an open palm. He caught her wrist before her palm came in contact with his cheek.

"Stop it. Stop fucking apologizing! I want to rip your throat out when you do because all I can see is you fucking her." She struggled with him, fighting his grip.

"Montana…stop fighting me." And then her right hand came flying at his face, he caught her wrist. For a little thing she sure was scrappy.

"You have no right to call me that anymore; you lost that when you decided to fuck someone else."

He held both of her wrists while she kept struggling against him, when she lifted her leg to knee him in the crotch, he quickly spun her around and pushed her into the fridge using his body to gently hold her there. As usual his skin scorched hers, and ignited a fire she was powerless to resist. She let a lustful moan out when she was pushed into the wall, she was breathing heavily from her exertion. She bit her lip to prevent another moan out, but she rocked her lower body into his only separated by a towel. She could feel his cock harden against her, and rocked into him once again. He was still holding her wrists above her head pressed firmly against the fridge. After she bucked into him he rested his head against her neck to try and control his arousal. He was breathing heavily and he slowly lowered her captured hands, she didn't try and hit him again, and instead she let them rest loosely on his shoulders. She was frustrated at his stagnancy, and let one hand scrap down his muscular arm. Her other hand trailed into the short hairs near the nape of his neck. She pulled them, pulling his head away from her neck so she could see his face. For one moment her face softened, she whispered, "I need this to forget." As quickly as it came, the softness left her face, she captured his lips in a searing kiss. She took his bottom lip in between her teeth while she raked her fingernails down his chest.

"Ow Lindsay, Jesus Christ!" He hadn't ever seen this side of her. She grabbed his precariously wrapped towel and pulled it off of him flinging it to the side. He had to give her some credit; she was pretty efficient at removing clothes for being pushed against the refrigerator. Before he realized she had removed her own t-shirt and pants, and was left standing in a sheer black bra and matching panties.

"Stop being a pussy and fuck me Danny," she whispered in his ear before taking his lobe between her teeth, her hand went down to his hard cock and she started stroking him.

"Is that what you want?' he asked fisting her hair, "For me to fuck you, baby?" he pulled her closer to him, his mouth inches from her lips. Her eyes were flashing with lust and ire. He released one of her breasts from its sheer confinements, before leaning down to capture it in his mouth. He released her hair, and his hand went to the clasp of the bra. She was moaning as he wet her nipple, her hand still around him like a vise grip.

"God, yes. Fuck me," she keened. His hand slipped under the waistband of the small black lace panties, seeking out her warm center. She thrust into his hand when he pushed a finger into her. She was so close, after being utterly turned on by their rough foreplay. He had to bite his cheek to avoid coming when he heard her scream. He pumped his fingers into her rhythmically. His thumb circled her clit and he felt her release cover his hand. She was breathing heavily, her hard nipples pressed tightly to his chest. He pushed her panties down her legs before he brought his hand to his mouth tasting her release. He grabbed her hair roughly and pulled her into a kiss and she could taste herself on his tongue. He put all his frustration into the kiss, willing her to see how sorry he was, how much he only wanted her, no matter how she treated him, she could never push him away.

Although she was angry, some things she did betrayed the Lindsay he knew. She could feel her fingers softly rubbing the hairs at the back of his neck as she came down from her orgasm. She husky lustful alter ego's voice was back, he recognized the feeling of her soft warm breathe, but she was not whispering her former words of love rather, "Fuck me Danny."

He hesitated. He was caught between this strange alteration of her character and his undeniable arousal. She was waiting for him to make the next move. She couldn't help but feel the connection they'd always have. She tried to keep her heart out of this, remind herself that this was just sex. Just sex. That was what he had told her what his affair with Rikki was. Just sex. Lindsay was instantly filled with anger again. She wanted to rip his heart out like he had done to her. She wanted to cut him where it would hurt; maybe then some of her pain would then recede. She couldn't stay away from him, couldn't forgive him, couldn't love him, and couldn't stop loving him. She pushed him away roughly when he didn't respond.

"Fine. If you aren't going to fuck me, I'll find someone else." She didn't look at him but she knew that he would be seething. She bent over to pick up her panties and bra and started walking towards the living area where she had flung her clothes. When she had reached the couch and leaned over to pick up her t-shirt he came up behind her and grabbed her hips, pulling her to him roughly, she could feel his arousal hard against her from behind. He moved one had around to her front, circling her clit. She pushed back, rolling her hips and grinding against his cock as best she could in this position.

"Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you like a whore? Like a bitch in heat?" She had to place her hands on the arm of the couch to support her weight when her legs threatened to buckle. He rubbed his hard cock against her slick warm folds. "You're so fucking wet baby. "Bet you want me to fuck you here and now, just like this. Bend you over more and fuck that tight cunt until you're keening in pleasure and shuddering around my cock." She was about to come just from the things he was saying to her. "I'll fuck your tight little pussy so hard that you'll never want anyone else but me."

"Mmm," she moaned. He leaned over her, his lips next to her ear, his wet fingers tugged on her nipple as his other hand squeezed and kneaded. He nipped her neck and licked between her shoulder blades. "You should see yourself baby. Bent over my couch like a whore needing to be fucked, pushing back for more, so wet for me and it _is_ for me. I know no one else can make you scream like I can." He pushed inside her, it didn't even take two strokes before she tensed and came with a low cry.

He growled softly as she shuddered and then he began to move inside her. He wasn't gentle; he fucked her hard, claiming her again. She had been baiting him for weeks to take her like this. And the thought of her getting it from someone else made him want to scream. Each thrust of his cock inside her sent her forward over his couch. Danny ran his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back so he could kiss her roughly. The sounds of his heavy breathing and the sound of sweaty skin hitting skin as he thrust inside her echoed through his small studio. Her breasts bounced back and forth as they fucked. He alternated between holding her hips and squeezing her breasts. He moved faster, he rolled his hips forward and changed the angle of his thrusts as he licked the mark on her shoulder that he made. "Love fucking your tight cunt. You're mine Montana, always mine."

Suddenly he pulled out of her, turned her around, picking her up roughly when she whined from the loss. "I want you to see me as I fuck you. So you know it's always me who makes you feel like this," he entered her as she wrapped her small legs around him. He walked her the few steps into the kitchen, pushed her up against the refrigerator, and started his rough pace again.

"Harder Danny, fuck me harder!" He could hear his refrigerator slamming to the wall, she was bouncing up and down on his cock while reaching back to grab onto the top of the fridge. "You're not fucking me hard enough," she whined. He moved her to his counter, resting her on the edge, so he could push harder into her.

Her fingernails scratched his back as he reached down to grip her ass hard. She knew she'd leave marks but she wanted to mark him as well. She tightened hard around him when she heard the low groan that always preceded his orgasm. She was panting and knew he was close and wanted to feel him spill inside her. He buried himself deep before he shuddered and came with a soft grunt. He rested his head between her breasts as he tried to regain his breath, he could hear her racing heart, she grabbed tightly to his hair, her fingernails scraping his scalp. He lifted her off the counter while still inside her, and walked over to his bed. He gently settled them into the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his cock softening inside her. He wasn't going to let her go yet. Now he was worried he took her too roughly, let his anger get to him. He chanced a look at her face. Her eyes were closed, a sweet satisfied smile gracing her lips. He couldn't resist, and captured her lips, kissing her deeply.

He fought to keep awake; he didn't want to give her the opportunity to sneak out while he was asleep. He could feel her trying to extricate herself from his hold, and he gripped her tighter.

"What are we doing Lindsay?" he said softly.

"I don't know," she was quiet before she added, "I am sorry I keep doing this to you. It's not fair to you."

"I just want to know what's happening."

"I can't stay away from you," she said honestly.

"I don't want you to. I just want to be with you, Lindsay."

"I can't be with you like you need me to. I trusted you with my heart once, and I don't think I can do it again. But I can't deny that this thing between us is still there. It might always be there."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you Lindsay."

She snuggled closer into his warm skin and closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears at bay. When he woke up she was already gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: **Back Against the Wall- Chapter 5**  
Author: daytimedrama  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Content Warning: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: So this takes place about a year after Chapter 4. Sweet smut. Where are Danny and Lindsay in the year of the aftermath of 416? Thanks kcaitlin for the beta.

* * *

Chapter 5

He had heard about her difficult case. How it ended with a murder suicide, which raised the original body count of 1 to 4. He wanted to find her right away, but he was also stuck on a case. But he knew her, she would find him. She always did. It had been over a year since he made the dumbest mistake of his life. This past year was filled with many ups and downs. Guilt and remorse were sometimes constant companions with him. How could she ever forgive him if he never forgave himself? Yet he knew she would come to him. They pushed and pulled in a seductive tango, but no one was allowed to cut in. They needed each other.

He walked into his apartment and wasn't surprised to see her on his bed. She was naked. She was face down and asleep. Her clothes were folded on the nearby chair. His eyes raked over her smooth back bare, while only a thin sheet skimmed and covered her bottom.

She was simply stunning and he wanted to run straight over to her and make love to her. He put the plastic bag he carried, down on the counter, and shrugged off his leather jacket. He sat on the edge of the bed letting his fingertips trace down her spine. He bent over her and placed a lingering kiss on her bare shoulder.

She woke, and softly moaned his name. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned to look at him, resting her head on her arm. She smiled at him, and then slowly the smile slide off her face. "Where were you?" the tone of her voice was a normal softness, but her eyes betrayed an accusatory gaze.

He inclined his head towards the kitchen, "I stopped to get us some food." She smiled again apologetically.

She knew she was predictable. He knew her well, he knew that she would come to him and he was still endlessly patient. She had lingering problems with trust now. They were best friends and lovers. To outsiders, they looked like a couple. To each other, they were only ones that mattered. No official titles, no proposals, no shared home, just together.

He brushed a curl out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. He let his fingers linger on her neck, before trailing them down her bare back. She sighed contentedly, so he shifted on the bed so he could massage her.

"We couldn't hold him, didn't have enough evidence for the murder of the husband, And then….and then when he was released he went and did that? He killed her two kids. He killed his ex-wife's two kids. She lost everyone, everything." He didn't have anything to say, nothing comforting to make sense of such a heinous crime. But he knew he didn't have to say anything, his presence, his patience, and his love were exactly what she wanted from him.

"I need you," she said.

"I'm here."

He felt her soft small hands wrap around the back of his neck, pull him down onto her, capturing his lips in a kiss. He responded to her eager kiss, and felt a paradoxical combination of instant relaxation as well as his whole body on edge with need. She turned fully onto her back, welcoming his body to crush onto hers. He could feel her soft breasts crushed against his chest, and her smooth legs creepy up to his hips. She bucked her warm center against his hardening cock. Her smooth soft body felt so opposite from his jeans and t-shirt clad body. Lindsay must have felt the same way because she started to fuss with his shirt, encouraging him to pull it over his head. Her small hands went to his belt buckle but she soon grew frustrated and teased his length through his pants. He had to bite his lip to keep from coming. He closed his eyes to regain control, and took the opportunity to steady her hands on his waistband, before kissing her deeply.

She was sated for the moment, so he leaned away from her, and pulled off his clothes. The moment his bare chest came into view, her hands were all over him. His skin ignited from the feeling of her skin on his. He reached down to suck on her neck, breathing in her sweet scent, hypnotized by her moans. He started to work his way down her body, latching his lips around a nipple as his other hand parted her fold to flick her clit. He placed open mouth kisses down her body, he could tell she was close, but when he got below her belly button she stopped him with her hands on his shoulders. She quelled his confusion by bring him in for a deep kiss; he brushed away the sweaty hair from her forehead with a gentle hand. Her big brown eyes sparkled up at him, filling him with love and desire. She let her slender legs slip around his hips, begging for his entrance. His hard cock rested at her warm wet center, so close.

This was no time for teasing so he pushed slowly into her. She came with a low moan of his name just from that sensation, she was so close before, and the feeling of his thick cock filling her so perfectly pushed her over the edge. Her body arched up, her sweaty skin pressing his hard chest. He steadied in her, letting her come down, her eyes still focused on his. She implored him to move, shifted her hips against his before he finally began to thrust at a steady pace. Her pussy gripped him like a vise. She begged for more, pleading for harder, faster, as she clung onto his shoulders.

He slowly rolled them over so she was on top, her hair now in wild curls framing her face. He loved to watch her ride him, her breasts bouncing, as she grinned mischievously down at him. She leaned down, cupping his face with her small hands and kissed him. His hands looked for purchase around her slim waist. She rode him deliberately and closer to their completion. She threw her head back as she came; her tight wet walls gripped him before he exploded inside her. She collapsed on his chest. Her brown eyes met his, in a haze of lust, before she kissed him sweetly on the mouth.

**…**

His hands traced softly up and down her bare back. She was on her side, her head tucked against his neck. He could feel her soft breath tickling the column of his throat. He loved these moments. He felt like she was open, he had the real her before reality set in and she pulled away from him. She no longer ran, and he knew she wasn't going anywhere; she was his, even if she didn't say it. There was no one else. Even if they didn't have official titles, she was his.

"Do you ever think about having kids?" she asked quietly against his neck.

He didn't know how to answer that. Yes, of course he thought about having kids with Lindsay. This sounded like a trick question and he didn't want to scare her off with the answer. But he promised to always be honest with her. He couldn't help the thousands of butterflies that took flight in his stomach, beating patterns with their wings against his gut. He would love it if she would ever want to have a child with him.

"I do. I sometimes think about it."

"Oh," she said a little sadly. He wondered if she was thinking about the son she lost.

"I'm not saying I have to have any but the thought has crossed my mind," he added to clarify. Making sure she knew that he was happy as he was, just with her. He was happy just being with her. There were days he dreamed of a wedding, children with her, and a cute brownstone in Brooklyn. But he would be happy with just being with her. She was enough, even if she wasn't giving him everything. He knew officially she was still holding on to some of her heart, so he couldn't destroy it again. But usually when they were together, just them, she didn't hold anything back; she knew she couldn't hide from him. He knew her so well. He knew she loved him.

She was quiet for a long time; he had to resist the urge to sigh. He might have just ruined everything. Now she would think he wanted kids, marriage, and professions of undying love, things he knew she wasn't comfortable giving him yet.

He almost missed it, she spoke so softly.

"I want kids" she said in a whisper. She turned to him to look at his eyes for his reaction. "I want your kids," she whispered again.

He could feel the tears well in his eyes; her eyes were soft, searching and open. He was so touched by her honesty and the emotion they shared right now. It had taken so long to get here. He held her face softly between his hands and leaned down to kiss her deeply.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Back Against The Wall (Chapter 6)  
Author: daytimedrama  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Content Warning: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: Thanks kcaitlin for the beta. This is about 9 months after the last chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who is reading!!

* * *

It happened gradually. They spent more time sleeping at one another's apartments. She gave him a key to hers. He stayed with her when his apartment was getting fumigated, and he never left. She didn't ask explicitly for him to move in with her, but after a late night of fooling around and an early morning of cuddling, when he got up to go to his apartment to shower and change before work, she simply said "Stay". He knew what she was asking even if she couldn't say it. He still fielded comments and questions about their relationship from others. Most of their friends learned to stop asking. They were together and as committed as two people could be, just without titles, no engagement, no shouting from rooftops. He couldn't even imagine what their relationship might look like to outsiders, but he almost dropped dead when she took his hand while they sat at Cozy's with the team watching Mac play.

**…**

He came home after work with their dinner. Lindsay had left early saying she needed to run a few errands before going home. He didn't know what she had to do, but she had been a little edgy all day. He figured with Lindsay it could be something as simple as forgetting to give their landlord the rent 5 days early that might have her riled up until she got it done. When he walked into the apartment he found her on the couch. She looked nervous and yet ready to burst with excitement.

"What's up Montana?" he asked curiously.

Her smile lit the whole room.

She didn't even to say anything. He knew.

**…**

"Lindsay, how are you feeling baby?"

"Good, really good. That nap today helped."

"You look beautiful," he said admiringly. His voice caught in his throat. He was so lucky to have her.

"You sure do know how to flatter a girl. Thanks though, I feel like a whale."

"God no! You looking fucking sexy Montana." He said with a growl.

She glanced over at him from her place in front of the mirror, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Is that so?" she said dismissively before she leaned over the sink counter to put on her eyeliner. From his angle he could see the reflection of her abundant cleavage in the mirror, as her breasts spilled out the top of her lacy pink bra. His eyes traveled over her body which she had bent seductively over the counter. His breath caught with joy and pride at the slight swell of her stomach. However he couldn't control the low moan when his eyes trailed to her perfectly shaped ass, barely covered with pink lace panties. He was hard by the time his eyes trailed down her slim legs that looked especially enticing when she was standing on her tip toes. He had to have her. He racked his brain thinking about how much time he had, or how he could convince her that they really didn't need to go to Cozy's tonight like they planned. He knew it was his idea to tell the team tonight, but what was one day, they could send a mass email or something tomorrow.

He walked over to her softly, coming up behind her. He brushed her curls off her neck, his body pressed tight against her. He leaned over her soft smooth back and placed a lingering kiss on her neck. His hands gripping her hips, he held her tightly to him as she squeaked and squirmed under his attention. He ground his hardening response into her, and she moaned huskily in response.

"Come on, Baby. Let's stay in," he whispered into her ear, his teeth teasing her lobe.

"But that's exactly it, Danny. You wanted to tell the team about the baby."

"Damn the team, they can wait til tomorrow! I need to fuck you now." Her hand snaked around to between them. She rubbed his hard cock through his dress pants.

"I can tell," she said cheekily before abruptly letting go. She turned back to the mirror, catching his lust filled eyes, before she twisted out of his hold and grabbed the hanger with her dress off the bathroom doorknob. Danny groaned and walked over to their bed before flopping down onto it dramatically. He would never make it through the evening.

**…**

They told the team about the pregnancy, and were congratulated with cheers, tears and well wishes. Stella had lots of questions, when was she due, did she want a boy or girl, had they been trying for a baby? Danny thought wryly, that since Lindsay's confession of a desire to have his baby, they might not have been officially trying but were certainly practicing. It was a great night; they were both so happy to share their news with their friends.

His arm was draped across her shoulder, his fingertips slowly feeling her skin. He leaned into her, reaching across the table to the bowl of nuts. Each time he did this, he could let his eyes glance down and linger over her ample cleavage. She had, at one point, pushed the bowl closer to him. So he subtlety pushed the bowl of nuts away with his fingertips, and let his eyes linger on her deep plunging neckline and her body's beautiful response to her pregnancy. However because of this distraction he couldn't hold a conversation, and three times had to ask Hawkes to repeat the question. Sheldon was a quite amused, and had chuckled at Danny's distraction. Lindsay had broken her engrossing conversation with Stella to question Danny with her eyes, but he shrugged innocently before resuming his ravenous appetite for bar nuts.

He was ready to leave. He thought about how he could usher Lindsay out. He couldn't fake a sudden illness, because that might thwart his plan for hot sex. He tried to send her telepathic messages that they needed to leave, but he only succeeded in filling his mind with positions and locations with her. He was beginning to give up hope until he felt her small hand sneak down and rest on his thigh. He had to stifle a groan. Her fingertips trailed up his thigh and he took three large swallows of his beer. When her small hand gripped and stroked his hard cock he almost choked on a cashew. Her mischievous eyes met his. When Don was chatting up the bartender, and Sheldon had asked Stella to dance, Lindsay abruptly stood up. Danny was confused for a minute assuming she was heading to the ladies room, but watched her stop instead at the back door. He scooted out of the booth, and caught up to her as she was stepping through the back door.

Her hands fisted into his shirt, and she pulled him roughly into a kiss. He responded instantly, finally getting some relief from the hours of teasing. He did feel slightly vindicated that now it was obvious that Lindsay had been affected as well. He hoped now he'd be able to convince her to let them go home. She pushed him roughly against the brick wall, her tongue dueling for dominance. His hands traced down her back, feeling her soft skin exposed by the low cut of her dress. She moaned at the feeling of his hands cupping and squeezing her ass. His mouth left hers and he bent lower to kiss her neck.

"Can you feel how much I need you?" he whispered. He gently spun, pressing her into the wall. His body was tight against hers and she could feel his hardened length through her silky dress. She gasped.

"Let's go home baby, I need you. I've been waiting all night."

Her eyes met his and she whispered huskily. "I can't wait. I need you now." She bucked against him hoping for relief.

Danny moaned and he moved his hands to her chest, gently kneading her ample cleavage. She didn't want him to stop, and she let him pull down the straps of her dress along with her bra, exposing her soft peaks to the cooling night air. Her cries echoed in the alley as he grazed her nipples with his thumb. Her hips thrashed against his when he replaced his thumb with his mouth, gently sucking her soft flesh and rock-hard nipples. She could feel her panties becoming wet with need.  
"Danny," she moaned. He looked at her questioningly and she nodded, and his hand went up her dress and he gently rolled her damp pink lace panties down over her hips. He let his hand graze over her wet slit, and kneeled helping Lindsay step out of her panties.

Danny took the opportunity to press her legs open her and position his mouth at her center. He lifted her leg and rested it over his shoulder to gain better access. Lindsay moaned with anticipation, he slowly ran his tongue along her damp slit, and Lindsay screamed his name. Danny smiled, her pleasure made his cock throb painfully. He began to lick her entrance with his tongue, before he moved it along her wet folds and up to her suck on her clit. Lindsay's orgasm crashed through her body, her juices flooding Danny's mouth. Lindsay clung to him until she recovered, he looked up at her, head back against the brick wall, she was breathily heavily and her exposed breasts heaving made Danny throb harder. He stood up gathering her close to his body. Her hard nipples felt amazing even through his dress shirt. He kissed her hard and felt her small hands snaking down to his belt buckle and zipper. She pulled him out, and met his eyes.

"I want you, Danny," she moaned. "I want you inside me, right now." She was dripping with longing, and she needed to feel him filling her.

He smiled into her neck positioning his cock against her entrance, he held her as she wrapped her legs around his hips. He gently thrusted inside her tight warm center, pausing to let her adjust to him. Danny gently slid his long shaft further inside her, and Lindsay cried out, clutching his shoulders and thrusting her hips against his.

"Faster," she whispered encouragingly. He held her ass tightly, slamming his cock inside her, over and over, moaning at the feeling of her tight pussy gripping him. She was so tight, so hot, so wet and he was always overwhelmed with the feeling of being inside her.

"Fuck, you're tight!" he cried, pounding his cock into her, thrusting faster and faster, fucking her into the brick wall. "Montana," he moaned, as he felt his own orgasm building, and Lindsay screamed as she came, this second orgasm more powerful than her first. Her muscles contracted around his cock like a vise, causing him to explode inside her.

He turned them, holding her tightly to him, his cock still inside her, and he slid down the wall. She sat in his lap, her fingers playing with the short sweaty hairs at the back of his neck. He tried to catch his breath resting his head in her heaving bare breasts. He rubbed them softly before putting them back in her bra. He pulled the straps back up to her shoulders, and followed with her dress. He met her eyes. They were clouded with satisfaction. She captured his lips in a sweet kiss, one that conveyed just how happy she was. Not just after explosively hot sex in an alley, but she was happy with their life together, and now their baby. While it took a long time and there still was lingering damage from his infidelity, he knew she loved him and trusted him now. When her breathing was under control, she kissed him quickly on his lips and then finally stood up. Her black silky dress dropping to rest smoothly on her thighs.

She grabbed both of his hands to help him to his feet, she tucked him back into his pants zipping him back up as he rested against the wall still recovering. She turned away from him bending over to pick up her pink lace panties. He groaned at the sight, she was going to kill him.

She looked back at him over her shoulder, smirking she straightened up and walked saucily towards him. She snaked her hand into his front pocket brushing his already hardening cock, leaving her small panties with him. She walked towards the door, and he groaned before jogging to catch up with her. He pushed open the door, holding it open to let her pass. Suddenly she grabbed his hand, stopping him and pulling him gently back into the alley.

He stared deep into her eyes questioningly. The lone lamp above the door softly lit her face. One of his large hands held hers tightly and his other trailed down to rest on her swollen belly. When she stood on her tip toes, her lips brushed his ear lobe. He was reassured when he heard her whisper the words, "I love you, Danny."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Back Against The Wall (Chapter 7)  
Author: daytimedrama  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Content Warning: Romance/Angst  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: Thanks kcaitlin for the beta. This is set a couple months after the last chapter. Teeny tiny bit of angst ahead. Thanks so much to everyone who is reading!!

* * *

It was sitting in the middle of the dining table taunting her. She tried to ignore it. Tried to remind herself it was just a small rectangle. She went to their room so she didn't have to look at it. However the return address was burned into her memory. She did her deep breathing techniques that she learned in Lamaze, and reminded herself that they were happy, everything was fine, they were having a baby and things were fine.

She stood from the hallway staring at the envelope. Sat on the couch watching the envelope. She walked around the dining table, watching the envelope. She called Stella and stealthily asked if Danny was still in the lab, while she watched the envelope. She wanted to throw it off the fire escape or into the garbage disposal, but couldn't trust herself to get that close to it without being tempted to open it. Besides it wasn't addressed to her.

This envelope stirred up years of insecurities. It took her right back to the place where she felt the most foolish and broken. The past years building their life together had been completely erased from her memory and now she could only see him with _her_. Had he been talking to her? Why would she send him a letter? Had he lied to her? Was he fucking her? Would he fuck her? Did he want to fuck her?

She was perched on the windowsill when she heard his keys in the door. She was gently cradling her large belly when he walked in with a smile.

"Hi Montana. What are you doing over there?"

She didn't respond, but he followed her eye line to the white envelope on the dining table. He walked over curiously, and his breath hitched when he saw the letter addressed to him and the return address.

"Fuck."

"I want you out," she said vitriolically.

"What Montana? I didn't do anything."

"I want you the fuck out of here. I can't trust you." And there it was.

"You _can_ trust me, Linds," he wasn't above begging.

"Then why the fuck is _she _sending you a letter? Have you been talking to her? Have you been fucking her again?"

"No Lindsay! Of course not!"

"Oh no. It's not 'Of course not;' you've done it before, and lied about it, why would you tell the truth now?"

"Because I love you."

"And you didn't then. Un-fucking-believable. I want you out of here now."

"Lindsay please let's talk about this. You've got to believe me. I haven't seen her. I haven't talked to her."

"I can't believe you. I don't even want to see you right now." She was breathing heavily tears streaming down her face.

"Please, baby, calm down, and remember what the doctor said about your blood pressure."

"Don't talk to me about my fucking blood pressure like you care. You need to leave right now."

"Okay. Okay. I'll go if it'll make you calm down."

**…**

"Hi. It's me again. I just want to let you know that the only reason I left was that I didn't want you stressing yourself or the baby from me being there, but I really want to talk to you. I love you. I'm in room 536 of the Hilton in midtown. I'll be up for awhile so please call me. I love you. Bye."

She closed her eyes as the machine beeped. That was the sixth message he left. He had sat outside in the hallway for over two hours before he realized she wasn't going to let him back in. He called her from the cab on his way over to a hotel to let her know that he wasn't giving up that easy.

He sat on the foreign bed that seemed so big and so lonely. He tried to go to sleep. But the room was all wrong. The bed was on the wrong side. The moonlight didn't trickle in through the drapes. It wouldn't illuminate Lindsay's hair while he watched her before he fell asleep.

He tried to sleep on his back, but couldn't relax without the feeling of Lindsay's breath tickling his bare chest. Instead the hotel sheets felt irritating and stiff against his bare skin. He didn't want to even try to sleep on his side; he knew he couldn't when he'd have to wrap his arm around a pillow instead of Lindsay's body. It wasn't the same when he couldn't feel the fluttering of his child under his hand.

**…**

"I need you to tell me the truth."

"Always," he said as he moved out of the way to let her pass into the room. He was shocked to see her. He had left her many messages. He felt awful that he had even left their apartment in the first place. He had been wide awake for hours. He was trying to think of ways to convince her that she was everything to him. That he needed her and couldn't live without her, couldn't even sleep without her. He had honestly thought that this sort of thing would never come up again. It figured finally when she trusted him, agreed to live with him, have his children, share a life with him, love him, that's when he'd get a letter from fucking Rikki.

"I'll know if you are lying. I know your tells. So tell me the truth. Have you seen her?"

"No."

"Have you talked to her?"

"No."

"Danny, please tell me the truth."

"She called me. I didn't answer, but she left a message. I didn't listen to it. Just deleted it."

She stifled a sob. She desperately wanted to believe him.

"I love you. I don't want anyone but you. You're it for me, Lindsay. You're everything to me, Lindsay."

She was fighting back tears, her lips quivered, and she just nodded. She thrust the crumpled white envelope into his chest. She looked up at him her big brown eyes shining with tears. He stared at it for a moment, before he quickly ripped it in two. Then he ripped those pieces, then those pieces, and then he let the tiny pieces fall through his fingers and drift to the beige carpet.

"I don't care what she has to say. All I care about is you and our baby; you've got to know all I want is you." He was pleading with her now. His eyes dropped to her stomach, she unconsciously drifted her hand across her rounded belly.

"I'm tired," she said abruptly before she went to lie on the bed. She stripped down, taking off her jeans. Leaving her just in an oversized T-shirt of his. She must have been wearing it when she was at the apartment. He hadn't noticed. He had been totally consumed by her pulling away from him. He sighed deeply, he didn't know if she believed him or not. She seemed to be struggling within herself. Part of her wanted to trust him, part of her could never trust him, and part of her had to trust him.

She climbed under the covers, and curled up facing away from him. She cocooned herself in the fluffy down comforter. Even when they fought, he knew she didn't like to sleep alone. Still, he felt like he needed to ask for her permission.

"Lindsay?" he whispered softly. He just saw her nod as a reply. He turned off the lights, and pulled back the covers on his side. He stayed awake for awhile staring at her small frame. He could hear her soft breathing. He could tell she wasn't asleep either. The rhythm was occasionally interrupted by a small hiccup and stifled sobs. They were both haunted by doubts and insecurities. Although only a few inches separated them he hadn't felt this far from her in a very long time. He should have just been honest.

Finally after what seemed like hours of silence and miles separating them, Lindsay reached her hand back, finding his forearm. She brought it to her, indicating that she wanted him to hold her. He breathed a sigh of relief. His arm wrapped around her he let his hand gently caress her belly. He felt a huge weight off of his chest. There were going to be okay.

He breathed in the scent of her hair. His fingertips ghost through the thin shirt and across her stomach. She was still crying.

"Please don't cry Lindsay," he said, his breath tickling the column of his throat.

"Please don't cry," he begged as he threaded his fingers through hers.

"I love you, Lindsay," he whispered hoarsely, fighting back his own tears.

"Sometimes it still hurts," she whispered so lightly he almost missed it.

"I'll do anything Linds. I'll do anything for you to believe me."

"Make love to me," she said before craning her neck around to look at him from the corner of her eye. He brushed the curls away from her face, and tucked them behind her ear. His fingertips lingered on her soft skin. They followed her jaw line and down the column of her neck. He let his hand graze over her breast but didn't stop until he caressed her round belly. He left his hand slip underneath the cotton shirt, and placed an open mouth kiss below her ear when he heard her begin to breathe deeply. He pulled the shirt up to expose her body, and she quickly ducked out of it. She adjusted her body so she was nestled right against him. It was his turn to groan as she rubbed herself into his evident arousal. A small smirk flitted across her face, the closest thing to a smile he'd seen all evening.

"I love you," he told her. He felt her small hand snake back towards his hip. Her tiny fingers flitted underneath his sweatpants. He felt his cock stir against her ass from her hand's proximity. She dragged the pants over his hips, her ass pressed tighter against him as she pushed them down his legs. The feeling of her skin on him ignited his whole body. He helped her by kicking the sweats off his ankles. His hand drifted higher to cup her breast and he gently caressed it. When his wet tongue licked the junction of her shoulder and neck, she moaned deeply, and begged for him to touch her.

"Where you want me to touch you, baby?" he asked huskily.

Instead of answering she guided his hand with hers to her hot wet center. Their hands snaked together under her cotton panties, and his fingers teased and flicked her wet lips. His thumb traced her clit, he felt her hand cling to his forearm, and she was breathing deeply, and whimpered when his finger entered her wet heat. He nibbled her neck as she began to move against him. He told her how beautiful she was, how hard he was, and how much he loved her, when he felt her rising to her climax. After she came shuddering around his fingers, he moved down her body, removing her wet panties, his large hands skimmed down her smooth thighs and then up again. He watched her, her small satisfied smile, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned her head to look at him. He kissed her deeply and entered her.

She felt him enter from behind in their spooned position, his large cock stretching her. Lindsay sighed in pleasure. His arms tightened around her, holding her in place as he thrust into her. His pace was slow and deliberate, his lips caressed her neck.

Danny enveloped her, and she loved the feeling of him all around her. He kept his pace slow, reaching deep within her and pulling the most intimate pleasure to the surface. His fingers found her clit and he gently rubbed her, wanting to prolong their connection. The sadness she had felt was melting away with every thrust, replaced by a powerful fire growing hotter with every stroke. The tension in her body was beginning to build up again.

"Dannn…"

Strong waves of pleasure shot through her as he increased the pace of his thrusts, she was so tight, so hot and so wet, he knew he never wanted to leave, but wouldn't be able to hold much longer. Her low moaning only increased his arousal; he gripped onto her hips as he thrust his hard cock into her a little faster.

Every part of her body rejoiced as the pleasure began to mount and bank only to mount higher. When he felt her explode around him and he finally released into her. He cried out his love to her as he came. Her body quivered in his arms, her breathing ragged and deep, and his heart was racing.

He felt her body relax into his. She turned gingerly in his arms so that she faced him, their lips met She kissed him deeply, he hoped this was forgiveness. He caressed her arms tenderly; he could feel the warmth of her warm rounded belly against his sweat sheened stomach.

**…**

"I don't want to feel like this Danny. I want to believe you. Believe in us," she said sadly in the early hours of the morning.

"You will baby. I'll spend every day of my life proving how much I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry. I know I've been kinda distant. Avoiding talking to you about work and cases. It's just been hard. We've had some pretty bad ones. With kids. And I just don't want to upset you. Stress you out unnecessarily."

"Danny, not talking to me makes me more upset," her deep brown eyes bore into his.

"I know that now. I just love you and our baby so much, and I don't want anything to mess it up," he said. "Are we okay?" he held his breath as he waited for her answer.

She took his hand gently, guiding it to her belly just in time for him to feel the tiny flutter under his fingertips.

"We are."


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Back Against The Wall (Chapter 8)  
Author: daytimedrama  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Content Warning: Romance/Angst/Smut  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back.

A/N: Thanks kcaitlin for the beta. This is set a couple years after the last chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who is reading, I think I'm getting close to wrapping this up, maybe a short fluffy epilogue?

* * *

"Are you happy, Danny?"

"Yes, of course I am. Why? Are you not happy?"

"No it's not that, it's just sometimes I worry that I can't give you everything you need."

"I have everything I have ever wanted. I have you and you have given me our beautiful daughter.

"You're so sweet sometimes."

"Just sometimes?"

"Yep," she said, giving him a cheeky grin before soberly adding, "it's just that sometimes I think you deserve to be with someone who isn't so messed up."

"Ah, Montana, that'd be no fun."

"I'm serious Danny."

"No you aren't. You know I can't ever walk away from you. I love you more than anything. I'll take you however I can. Maybe that's why we work. We're both screwed up. We're both broken apart, but somehow together we fit. We're whole."

"I know but I can't give you…"

"I don't need a ceremony," he said cutting her off.

"But are you ever disappointed that we aren't married."

"Nope. As long as I have you. Besides it is pretty fun to rile up my Ma by living in sin for all these years."

"I'm sorry Danny," she said quietly.

"Hey, hey, hey, no tears. There is nothing to be sorry for. Our life is perfect. I'm following your lead. You wanna get married? We get married. You wanna move to Timbuktu or Montana? We go. I just want to be with you. I'm yours."

"You have been very patient with me. Sometimes I think you deserve someone, someone not as damaged and crazy as me, someone who can give you all that..."

"You are the one that deserves better, but since you are willing to settle for me, then who am I to argue? I happen to think you are pretty great. And you have given me everything you possibly can. I know you say you may be damaged, but Linds, you are so loving, so forgiving, and you are an amazing mother. And I love you."

She didn't say anything, just leaned up to him, placing a kiss on his lips, and then she snuggled back into his chest.

Her words were muffled, and tickled his bare skin, "It was really nice of Stella to take Isabella this weekend. I kinda feel badly though. I don't think we warned her about her recent biting habit."

"I think Stella can manage; besides it's not like its complete charity. I promised her something expensive and shiny, and in a blue box for Christmas."

"Good to know that she has her price," she said sleepily.

…

"It's been a long time since just the two of us went somewhere. It's nice. Even if it is just across town to the Upper East Side," she said as she allowed her fingers to run down his chest aimlessly. It was a luxury to lounge in bed all day with Danny. She loved being a mother and working, but sometimes it was nice just to get reacquainted with him.

"Well I kinda have a confession to make, this was really just to get you naked and in bed with me with no distractions." She smacked him lightly.

"You're hardly celibate Dan," she said before she placed a kiss to his chest.

"I never said that. It's just we never have two days just for sex…I mean us." He felt her body shake lightly from her giggle.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you about something," she said suddenly sobering. He turned to get a better look at her face. She looked a bit nervous. He quirked an eyebrow upward.

"Um. I was wondering how you would feel about having another baby?" She watched as his eyes grew big.

"Are we?" He whispered.

"No," she said, almost disappointed. "Not yet, but I was hoping we could. Would that be maybe something you'd want to do? We've never really talked seriously about another, but Bella is 2, and I'm getting older," she stopped herself from rambling anymore, and took at chance at looking him in the eyes. "Would you like to have another baby with me?"

His face splitting smile betrayed his excitement, and he captured her lips in a kiss. When he pulled away his eyes were twinkling with the images of another child.

"Maybe we should start now," she suggested cheekily.

"I might be able to be persuaded," he said with a smile. Before he settled onto his back again.

"Oh yeah Detective? What kind of persuading would you need?"

"Well, I had a busy day planned, I thought we would go sit down and have a breakfast that didn't involve Cheerios or SpongeBob, but I might be persuaded to just call for room service and we could start practicing now. But it would take some real convincing," he said with a wolfish wink.

"Hmm. What about this?" She asked as her small hand trailed down his abs.

"Um, yeah that's pretty good. But this view would be better," he said as he slipped her shirt over her head, running his hands over her soft breasts.

"Humph…..pretty good? That's not good enough. How about this?" She smiled at his sharp intake of breath, as her hand grasped his hard cock.

"Oh yeah. That's getting very good," he mumbled incoherently.

"What about this?" She asked before he felt her tongue on the head of his cock.

He was beginning to be unable to form coherent sentences. The sensation of her warm wet mouth bobbing up and down on his cock was overwhelming.

"Wait," he said suddenly, "We gotta…." He trailed off forgetting what he was trying to say. She pulled her mouth off of him with a pop, but continued to rub him. One hand moved up and down his glistening hard shaft. Her thumb stroked the head with each pass, while the other hand explored his toned abs. Her short nails scratched gently up his chest, stopping to circle his nipple. Danny begged her for more.

"Faster, Linds," he moaned.

She pressed closer to him, her hard nipples against his thighs. She pressed her pelvis into the bed to get her own relief. Her hand pumped him faster, and Danny's breaths came ragged, calling out her name.

"Come for me," she said before she placed her mouth over the head, catching his seed in her mouth before swallowing. She moved her mouth off of his softening cock. She rubbed his hip bones, resting her head on his stomach as he caught his breath. He gave her a lazy smile, before pulling her up to him. He quickly rolled her over, and kissed down her chest.

Danny gently spread her thighs apart with his hands. He spread her lips with the tips of his fingers, making her shudder with pleasure before pressing his face into her. His tongue sought her clit, lightly teasing. Lindsay moaned deeply, as her fingers reached down to stroke his scalp. He increased the pressure of his tongue, swirling and sucking around her clit. He inserted a single finger and massaged her gently, still teasing her with his tongue. Her moaning and panting spurred him to add another finger, while licking and teasing her clit. He took her clit again gently into his mouth and suckled her, while he pumped his fingers into her tight pussy. He could feel her tighten around his hand, when she came with a scream. He watched as her eyes closed in pleasure, basking in the feeling.

"Don't get sleepy on me now Montana, that was just the warm up," he said teasing. His hands glided up and down her smooth thighs. He pressed a sweet kiss to the skin below her belly button, then one between her breasts, then her chin, before he kissed her soundly on the lips. He felt her rock rhythmically against his hard cock, as she responded to his kiss.

"I love you," she whispered as he slid into her.


	9. Epilogue

Title: **Back Against the Wall- Epilogue**  
Author: daytimedrama  
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay  
Genre: Angst/Smut  
Rating: M  
Summary: Lindsay is sick of getting hurt. Danny desperately wants her back. Just a short fluffy epilogue. Takes place a few years after the last chapter.

* * *

"So I think everyone had fun. The kids are out cold, that's always a good sign," she said. He looked over to the blanket where Isabella and Joey were still sleeping. They looked angelic. No one would know that they had just terrorized the small Brooklyn park for hours.

"It was a good idea to have the party here, even though I don't think Joey knew it was his birthday."

"He is only one. At this age it's really an excuse for the adults to have cupcakes."

"You look real pretty, you know that?" He watched as she gathered the extra cupcakes and placed them into the Tupperware. She licked the icing off of her finger before looking at him.

"Such flattery, Mr. Messer. A girl might think you have an ulterior motive."

"Come here," he said as he pulled her close. His hands tickled down the column of her throat and he threaded the silver chain from under her shirt, "I want to see it." He fingered the platinum band that hung on the thin chain. It had been hiding for a week. Their secret. He doubted anyone would believe them if they told them. He was surprised that Stella hadn't spotted any new form of jewelry though.

"Your Ma's going to kill us. For the last few years all I've heard is how Father Michael was still willing to marry us in the church, even though we've been cohabitating AND have had children out of wedlock."

"Oh no you're right, she's gonna kill me," he said before sighing dramatically. "I don't know if you realize this, but I'm afraid of my mother. Maybe we should go on our honeymoon first."

His hands wound into her loose curls. His fingertips caressed her skin and rubbed the tension out of her neck.

"A real honeymoon huh? Would there be a beach involved? Cause I've been spying this little bikini you might like to see me in," she said as she settled on him, straddling his lap.

"Sure, beach," he said, quite distracted.

She kissed above his collar bone.

"It would be romantic."

She kissed below his ear and smiled against his skin when she heard him moan.

"Sexy. "

She kissed his lips sweetly.

"When do we go?"

"How's tomorrow sound?" he said instantly.

"Sounds good but what about the kids?" Her hands running up and down his chest.

"I have an idea. We tell my Ma that we finally tied the knot, leave the kids with her and take off before she can cuff me on the back of the head."

"You've got it all planned out." He closed his eyes as her hands caressed his face, as her fingertips traced his jaw line.

"I really do," he said quietly before adding cheekily, "besides I heard a promise of a tiny bikini."

…

She still sat on his lap. Wrapped in each other. Her forehead rested against his. Danny fingered her band again, before he reached around and unclasped the necklace. The ring sparkled when it caught the light as it hit his palm. He lightly grasped her left hand and slid the ring onto her finger. He took the plain silver band that was on his right hand, and moved it to his left.

"There, Mrs. Messer. Perfect," he said.

She smiled.

"Perfect."


End file.
